![]() “Because you really listen, you become influenceable. ![]() Seeing the world the way other people see it allows us to understand how they feel.Īccording to Covey, it takes a great deal of security to go into a deep listening experience because we open ourselves up to be influenced. ![]() Empathic listening involves getting inside another person’s frame of reference, with the intent of true understanding. Very few of us ever practice listening on the fifth level, the highest form of listening: the empathic listening level. Attentive listening: paying attention and focusing energy on the words that are being said.Selective listening: hearing only selective parts of the conversation.When another person speaks, we’re usually “listening” at one of four levels: We’re generally either speaking or preparing to speak, most often considering what the other person is saying only based on our own experiences and points of view. We have a tendency to listen with the intent of replying rather than that of understanding. “Comparatively few people have had any training in listening at all.” He explains that seeking to first understand involves a very deep paradigm shift: we typically seek first to be understood. In comparison the many hours spent learning how to do the first three, the last type of communication has been neglected, says Covey. There are four basic types of communication: The author draws our attention to a general tendency to rush into other people’s issues and try to fix them by giving advice, often failing to “take time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.” Habit 5 shows us how we can cooperatively deal with situations that arise within Win/Win situations when we’re trying to work together, taking into account our differences. Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be UnderstoodĬovey tells us early on in this chapter that “even if (and especially when) another person is not coming from a Win/Win paradigm, seek first to understand”. It involves asking ourselves not only what we want from a given situation but also what the other party wants. The Fifth habit of Stephen Covey’s “ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, is also the first step in the process of last weeks’ 4 th habit: “Think Win/Win”.
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